"Disability Sucks" or "How I Learned to Start Stressing and Hate My Employer"

As you may have gathered by now, I am disabled. I will be disabled for the rest of my life (unless they find a miracle cure for all three of my conditions). Being disabled, even in this so called enlightened age, is a hard struggle every day, particularly when the disability is invisible. It's unbelievably difficult to go to bed at night, knowing you'll have to get up at least twice due to the pain you're in. It's incredibly frustrating not being able to do the simplest of tasks, such as dress yourself properly or make a cup of tea, because you're too weak or it hurts too much. It's hugely demeaning to have 'accidents' because it takes you so long to get to the loo. It's amazingly soul destroying and isolating not be able to work with your colleagues because you can't get to your workplace or stay there for a full day. Some of you will be able to appreciate this but it appears my employer does not.

Two years ago when I was disagnosed with FMS, I underwent a referal to the Occupational Health Advisers. They confirmed I was covered under legislation and agreed that working from home when I needed to was a sensible way forward. My manager agreed and since then, I have done just that. However, they 'forgot' the little matter of providing me with any equipment to do my job so I've been using my own.

In May this year I'd finally had enough of having to muddle through and told my new manager I wanted a works laptop and phone. Hardly a big deal I thought. How wrong I was. I was told no, as there was no business benefit. I argued that legally they couldn't discriminate against me in that way. They then decided to refer me to the Occupational Health Advisers again. The OHA report came back saying I needed a home assessment to determine what equipment they should get me. Good, I think. It would appear though that OHA referals are meaningless because I was then told that I could no longer work from home at all and would have to attend the office every day.

Now, as you can imagine I wasn't too chuffed about this, so I pointed out that this was wrong and they should go away and re-think. Today I was told that the OHA report was rubbish and I they have to start the referral process all over again. Oh, and apparantly now the role of OHA is to back up whatever management say because apparantly I don't now need a home assessment, it has to be an office based one.

Today, for the first time in a very long time, my employer made me sob. I sat there, heartbroken, because in spite of being a very capable and dedicated employee, I was being made to suffer because my employer finds disabled people too difficult to deal with. I'm now terrified that if someone doesn't do something soon, I will be forced to attend the office everyday which is impossible for me. I'm terrified that when they very quickly realise I can't do what they demand and end up going sick, they will sack me. I'm terrified that any shred of dignity I've managed to hang onto since falling foul of this disability will be ripped away from me.

So my friends, I'm sorry if I'm not my usual cheerful self right now. If you'd like to see normal service to resume, go see my employer and kick them somewhere it will hurt.